S-S-Stunner

Sometimes I think I am really cool. When this happens, I usually take a picture of myself in the driver side mirror. In this case, I am also showing off my stunners, which obviously makes me cooler than usual.

Now I know that I've missed a few months of my stunner posts...but here's the thing: SOTM has been pissing me off. What happened you ask? Well, I got a pair of really ugly glasses called The Butterflies (trust me, they're NOT cool), then I got a pair of hideous glasses, then the next month, I got the SAME pair of hideous glasses! Anyway, I got mad and refused to wear them.

So, here I am now. Back to loving my stunners and living life. Thought I needed to share.

Peeing in the park

There are a few things that happen in San Francisco that would never happen anywhere else. I.E. naked bike rides, B2B (see previous post) and public peeing. Now, I know that public peeing happens in other cities as well because I have done it. (Ahem, PB Block Party 2006 and every 4th of July spent on the beach.) BUT my point here is that peeing in bushes in San Francisco is a conclusion I come to way quicker now—it’s not a last ditch effort to keep my clothes dry.

Case in point, a couple of weekends ago Eric and I were at Ocean Beach on Saturday and Dolores Park on Sunday. Although we were at two different places, we did basically the same thing for two days (hint: it involved a cooler and our campfire chairs), and it was fantastic. My point here, however, is that I’ve lost any sense of lady-like action at these public places. Here’s how it went down:

Saturday. At the beach. A few beers down the hatch and Eric goes to use the restroom. He comes back and I realize I also have to go.
My first response: “Do you think I could just sit on the sand and go?”
Eric: “Yeah, probably.”
Me: “I mean, I think the water is too cold.”
** Really Macie? Cause the water is too cold? I have an idea, why don’t you try walking to the public restroom like everyone else!

Sunday. At the park. Eric and I both have to go to the restroom. As we walk toward the public restroom, we see a really long line for both men’s and women’s.
Eric: “I think there are some spots to pee over here” (as he gestures away from the public restroom)
Me: “Really? Let’s go.”
(We find a place, and I go as Eric guards me from any onlookers)
Random girl: “I have to pee, can you excuse me?”
Eric: “My girlfriend is down there right now, hang on.”
Random girl: “Awesome.”
(I come up the hill)
Random girl: “high-five!”
**Again…really? I’m really not sure what this means about me, but I think I do need to cut down on peeing in public.

Official Residents

Well, after more than 2 technical years of living in San Francisco (move-in date March 2008), I am officially claiming that Eric and I live here. The reason: we intentionally attended Bay to Breakers.

The first month of May we were here, we had to take a trip to SoCal the weekend of B2B, and last year, we went, but did a very half-ass job of attending (aka we didn't wear costumes, bought beer when we got downtown and spent most of the time in our friend's apartment). This year, however, not only did we go to B2B, but our friends came to visit and made it a great B2B weekend.

The e-mail that got them here:

From: Macie
To: Tim, Jessika, B, Ashley, Jessica


Here's the deal. Eric and I live in San Francisco and every year Bay to Breakers is in San Francisco. A match made in heaven? I think so. This year, the race is on May 16 (which is a Sunday), and the day before is Oyster Fest. The bottom line is that you should all be in SF that weekend so that we can get completely shitfaced and you can stay at our house.

Ok - love you guys! Make it happen.

Surprised that worked? Me too.

Anyway, they made it here, and we had a great time. The funny thing is that now that I have participated in the walk across the city where all you do is drink and dodge people that drank more than you, I really have no desire to do it again. (disclaimer: that does not mean that I will not do it again.)

It started out with a huge lack of planning. It was the morning of the race and as the crew at my house were getting ready and showering, I was writing with Sharpie on their shirts. We were deciding on words up until the last second - we were refrigerator word magnets, of the dirty kind - and we had drank most of the beer that was supposed to be saved for the day. So, we loaded up a couple of backpacks and started walking to BART. Because we realized we probably wouldn't eat all day, we made a quick stop in McDonald's (I know, it's disgusting....but it was necessary) and finally made it to the train.

We got on, got downtown and proceeded to find the friends who had been waiting for us for now 30 minutes. As we went to find them, Eric and I argued over the route we were going to take to get there and Eric said "It's just so much walking!" to which I felt the need to snap "Do you really think this extra block matters? You know that Bay to Breakers is a walk across the entire city, right?!"

Jessica and Brian loved this, I'm sure.

We made up, moved on and found our friends. We all cracked open beers, loaded up coozies and began the walk. From this point on, it was really awesome. We joined in on the crazy and got really far until it got really scary. We started up Haight hill and someone started throwing a huge ball made of rubber up in the air - this meant we all started playing the oh-shit-if-that-lands-on-my-head-I-am-going-to-die game, which is almost never fun. We dodged the ball and headed uphill (still having fun) and then it all went down hill - quite literally. As we were headed down by Alamo Square, a float with tequila drinking pirates lost control of its brakes and came screaming down the hill. It turned into a drunken fear for your life (once again) and we all broke free running in different directions.

Once safe, we laughed about the looks on the pirates' faces....and decided that floats were a really bad idea for a bunch of drunk people. After that, B2B was a lot of fun. We stopped at the Panhandle, enjoyed the park, got more beer, danced on a public statue, saw a woman with HUGE boobs and no shirt on, peed in bushes, made sentences with our shirts, traded just-found cigarettes for shots of tequila, ate food and finally made our way back home.

Below are the chronicles of our day...